What makes for a good date? I know it's different for everyone, and different at different times in our lives. For me, a good first date when I don't know much and don't expect much is a glass of wine in a wine bar, good wine, and I pay. I used to try to meet in coffee shops, but the staff are always on the lookout for personal ads folk, and it's uncomfortable in my university town to be surrounded by "all-but-dissertation grad students trying not to listen while poking away at their laptops. But is the wine bar enough of a production? Don't people want to be charmed and dazzled, fed, entertained? Also, since I rarely wear a tie in real life, it seems dishonest to wear one on a date, though the one time I did and gave her a red-yellow rose, it was clearly the right move, even though the relationship as such later failed to fly. In that case (years ago) we'd already become close via email and IM so I knew I wouldn't frighten her with a bit of romance. But is romance generally recommended? Is dinner a better first date? I also used to meet outside art house movie theaters, but that method never seemed to work well. There's something intimate about sitting together in the dark, to be sure, but if you've never met the person you can't very well throw your arm over their shoulders, and then you've burned two hours of the time you could have spent making real contact. For a second date, weather permitting, I love a walk in the countryside so we can relax and get to know each others' more open natural selves, and include a restaurant meal in that. A movie can be good on a second date because it's fun and gives a chance to show more about you. Would a home-cooked meal be better, or should that wait until the third date? I'd go for a walk on the first date too but the trust level usually isn't high enough for that. A compromise can be a walk in the city. Since I'm considered "eligible" these days I sometimes get invited to parties for the purpose of being introduced to friends. I have a couple of Asian women friends in particular who do this, one Chinese, the other Japanese, but it's a similar pattern. Well, the Chinese one and her group are a lot more organized. What's the theory on that? I'm glad to be eligible, and I know it's an excuse for a party, but I feel pretty on the spot in that situation, and when I've dutifully made contact afterwards, it's never gone anywhere. I can see how that mechanism could work for a lot of people, but not so much for me. Maybe after my next promotion. I observed speed-dating from a distance a few weeks ago. All I can say is donde los yikes! I just don't dress up like that! Out of my three multiyear relationships, two started on dance floors, and one at a grad student mixer. In every case, she introduced herself. I'm shy, to be sure, but there seems to be a pattern there. Maybe the idea that men have to make the first move is just wrong? And what's with the dancing aspect? Anyway, just wanted to start a conversation on the subject, in hopes at least some of us might pick up some pointers for finding what we're looking for. Comments welcome. Remember: To be gallant and kind is much better than any other way to please a girl. Remember: To be gallant and kind is much better than any other way to please a girl on a date. Guys and girls, please, do not hurt ones feelings on a dating! eHow.me Find your date online and never be alone again. There are many women and men looking for a perfect date. You can be someone for another person. Click here and find out. Find your date TODAY. This is a special day for you to find the person of your dreams. Date the best person that you are going to select by yourself. You have the power to find the person of your life. Encontre tus amigos para enamorarse y caminar hacia el matrimonio.